Tints and Shades

the trials i waited the purification i long desire the melodies i dearly sing with confidence more often than not i am truly afraid of whatever is coming my way for when i am in the middle of fire i am burnt and my flesh is screaming out but let it burn until what's left of me is everything you want in me

how is it that the thing i read intensively for a year be a thing i'm struggling with  and i don't even realize it until i do

a roof it's thick swallowing matter meters under various things covered a lonely track it's meant for one canopy protecting nothing but happiness the sound of screech and hiss swallowing back its pace forcefully destination reached it has not the fuels it runs out of it has yet to see a tiny ray of light the train, i mean the unknown number of steps needed the tracks, i mean and the airless and dark underground tunnel the train befriends

a couple of couple tees i held so dearly the photobox pictures so old the colors faded a pile of beads bracelets left untouched and memories so many it's hard to dismiss give and take the value everyone is holding on now give and take the value i was clueless of all i ever know is to give to give even though i'm running out to give even though there's nothing left to give to give to you who is overflowing i gave you you took from me i give you but now i'm free

every letter forming words each flowing out like it's made to every conversation turning to sleepless nights each happening like it's meant to you're my favorite fiction that of which i would peek in between you're my favorite fiction that of which i would read countless times you're my favorite fiction that of which i would memorize its lines you're my favorite fiction that of which i would be reminded of you're my favorite fiction. tragic, you're my favorite fiction.

She’s a wild flower A species so rare No place she calls home She despised her silhouette Even once tried to erase Her very own shadow under the sun Oh yet, Life has decided To give her a second chance She just found a place For her to show her petals Where creatures would feed off her She has just about to bloom And declare significance Yet the evil wind tosses her away Life, for her, Is just about to start. Yet, The thunderstorm is drifting her apart.

rain, is it hard to be you? to be longed for when you're not there to be despised at when you're actually there rain, is it hard to be you? to sometimes be accused of flood often even blamed for blood rain, is it hard to be you? does it hurt to fall from such heights? or does it feel good to be back home?

God of mercy, God of second chances. thanks for not giving up on me.

the beauty of life is that it's a one-way ticket the joy you're feeling now ain't the joy you're feeling then the pain you're feeling now ain't the pain you will be feeling the beauty of life is that it's a one-way ticket the victory you won now ain't the victory you won then the loss you're facing now ain't the loss you will be facing the beauty of life is that it's a one-way ticket the expectation you have now is the result of your disappointment then the disappointment you have now is the result of your expectation then the beauty of life is that it's a one-way ticket the beauty life is offering is full of variation and diversity so take a look around you and appreciate everything

A piccolo I try to befriend A drink I have been wondering A taste so new yet all so familiar A dose so small I crave for more You're the right amount of sweetness And bitterness I would like in a cup Enough to beguile and enchant Yet enough to soothe as a complementary How I wish you're incapable of running out But the more you tastes good The more I'm likely to suck the life out of you I hope you understand

to write is to read, to speak is to listen, to be loved is to love.

In my opinion, there are two kinds of positive:  bad positive  and  good positive. 1. Bad positive Aren't we all tired from the constant force everyone is giving us to stay positive? "You can do it" and "it will all be worth it" seems all too cliche and overrated. Going through 22 years of life, my best attitude towards challenges is admitting that life sometimes is crappy. To not admit you're hurting, will hurt you. Why would you add another pain to your painful self? Seriously. After all, trying to be positive is an effort doing bad, more than it does good. You know why? It's because you are trying so much to be positive although you know things are just plain bad. You're repressing all your negativity to your unconscious, and not actually trying to deal with that. You're concealing, not dealing .  Battle of the mind, battle of the mind.  You feel frustrated and harsh on yourself, and that discrepancy between your ideal self and your  rea

Malam itu aku berdiri menghadap penyeberangan. Aku melihat ke depan dan menatap orang-orang yang di seberang. Mereka melakukan hal yang sama. Mereka semua menunggu. Menunggu hingga angka-angka warna merah itu menunjukkan bilangan 0. bukan tempat tujuan, namun sekedar tempat bersinggah bukan tempat yang dituju, namun sekedar tempat menuju menunggu terasa lama, melewati terasa singkat. menunggu terasa lama, merasa pun tidak sempat. semua lalu-lalang ke dua arah yang berbeda akankah aku terdorong ke arah yang berbeda atau bisakah aku sampai di tujuan dengan selamat? aku ingin pulang, aku ingin pulang, kaki ini ingin melangkah, tetapi aku tak sampai, mungkin belum saatnya aku sampai,