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Showing posts from January, 2019

the two faces of positivity

In my opinion, there are two kinds of positive:  bad positive  and  good positive. 1. Bad positive Aren't we all tired from the constant force everyone is giving us to stay positive? "You can do it" and "it will all be worth it" seems all too cliche and overrated. Going through 22 years of life, my best attitude towards challenges is admitting that life sometimes is crappy. To not admit you're hurting, will hurt you. Why would you add another pain to your painful self? Seriously. After all, trying to be positive is an effort doing bad, more than it does good. You know why? It's because you are trying so much to be positive although you know things are just plain bad. You're repressing all your negativity to your unconscious, and not actually trying to deal with that. You're concealing, not dealing .  Battle of the mind, battle of the mind.  You feel frustrated and harsh on yourself, and that discrepancy between your ideal self and your  rea...

pada penyeberangan

Malam itu aku berdiri menghadap penyeberangan. Aku melihat ke depan dan menatap orang-orang yang di seberang. Mereka melakukan hal yang sama. Mereka semua menunggu. Menunggu hingga angka-angka warna merah itu menunjukkan bilangan 0. bukan tempat tujuan, namun sekedar tempat bersinggah bukan tempat yang dituju, namun sekedar tempat menuju menunggu terasa lama, melewati terasa singkat. menunggu terasa lama, merasa pun tidak sempat. semua lalu-lalang ke dua arah yang berbeda akankah aku terdorong ke arah yang berbeda atau bisakah aku sampai di tujuan dengan selamat? aku ingin pulang, aku ingin pulang, kaki ini ingin melangkah, tetapi aku tak sampai, mungkin belum saatnya aku sampai,