Tints and Shades

it's sad how the tree needs the sun, but the sun would still shine as bright without the tree. it's unsettling how the tree would always look up to the sky, yet the sun is never seen looking back. it's upsetting how traces of the sun lingers in the skin of the tree, but to the sun the tree is a tree among the trees. it's life when the tree is all dried up, yet the sun is still in its glory.

you stole my dream you stole my dream when the sun sleep i am falling deep you stole my dream you stole my dream the dream i long so long the dream i try to hold on to you stole my dream you stole my dream the void is eating every piece the void is swallowing every oxygen you did not, you did not i'm incapable of understanding

if only you could. if only you could. // if only you would. it's dark and occupied inside bars and wars overlapping both fighting in accordance to the still and tense body still, it is outside shaking, it is inside calm, it is outside mad, it is inside you, breathing corpse featured with bloodshot eyes those pale cheeks and lips can be seen despite the vibrant colors /rip it off, rip it off/ there you lie unconscious in the quiet day and night this weak form won't budge though trying with all your might /waking up, waking up/ inhale that different stillness oh the stillness of water the firmness of a rock through it all stay still, my soul if only you would. if only you would. // only if you would.

Behind her sanity Beyond her simplicity Looked for something that will mend her It is in written words she finds shelter

The defense of the self, The denial of the mind, The pain of the heart, And the battlefield inside. Pointing out a statement from Charles Lindbergh, "Isn't it strange that we talk least about the things we think about the most?" It's not okay when you try to not feel. It's okay when you try to feel. It's not okay when you try to not think. It's okay when you try to think. Oh dear, you're thinking too much About trying to not think the thing you're thinking. Maybe we would all be better if we face ourselves head-on. Yes, ourselves. No bigger obstacle than dealing with something you call 'myself'. No bigger energy wasted than to lie to someone you call 'myself'.  The hardest thing to be in touch with, in life, is your own self and all its substances. You live in a world where it's much simpler to ignore your thoughts and feelings for the sake of your emotional stability. Or so you thought. But just so you know. It...

gedung tinggi mengedipkan mata mereka mobil berlari seakan tak ada hari esok entah apa yang mereka kejar apakah waktu? apakah uang? atau mungkinkah kesempatan? tidak perlu uang yang banyak tidak perlu teman yang banyak membayangkan itu saja aku gemetar gentar dengan semua riuh yang menemani sebab yang lebih menghibur adalah menatap langit gelap sambil mendengarkan alunan musik minum secangkir teh hijau panas dan merayakan kesunyian

"Each to each a looking glass Reflects the other that doth pass." and so that's what Cooley proposed, more than a century ago. I, me, my, mine. It is all constructed. Through a different point of view, through another pair of cornea. Yet, do you realize; Views become view? And, eventually, Perspective become reality? oh dear, all is constructed, it really is. one is not one until one says it is.

distance stay away for instance keeping myself in my radius leading life so tedious i'm confident being independent people tell me to feel otherwise fitting in is a lame investment definitely the path for the unwise on a rainy day she's awake sleepy eyes glued on screen excited another day she spent awake they say another day alienated oh dear that one sentence grabbed all her attention the word she's been yearning all year while longing for companion In fact,  what she needed  was not less social connection,  but connection  that felt more meaningful. (Cacioppo & Patrick, 2009)

as kids we were told to reach for the stars dream as high as the sky where rainbow resides as vast as the blue sea where greatness unveils we were told to be happy we were told to be crazy we were told to dream insanely we were told to design our own future restless nights from the thrill from the adrenaline imagining what the future will bring the tears of joy and blasts of celebrations where did it all go? when did everything start to go wrong? why is my adrenaline not pumping anymore? fear fear of disappointments fear of time fear of risks fear of failing fear of endless pit reality look just a little deeper look just a little simpler spark your sparks be fear not it's okay to dream big like you used to it's okay to imagine like you used to it's okay to be happy like you used to. (inspired by The Greatest Showman)